Author: ultrapet

Dog Brain

Hi guys, how’s it going? I hope you all are having a more interesting day than me…boy is it a dull one around here! So dull that I even played with the chiweenie a little this afternoon…talk about desperation!! That poor brute…he just does whatever he’s told!! Can you imagine?! And the fetching…oh the fetching. […]

If I Ruled The World

Hello friends! Today, whilst reading Machiavelli’s The Prince, I started thinking…what if cats ruled the world? Further, what if I Sir Maximus ruled the world?? Oh the glory!!! To streamline my thoughts, I compiled a little list. Enjoy. If Max The Ultra Cat Ruled The World 1. All dogs would be registered and assigned a […]

The Sitter

Hello readers, Max here, reporting from the other side. Currently, I am trapped in “cat sitter” purgatory…anxiously awaiting my human’s return (never thought I would say that one). Don’t get me wrong, Cecelia the sitter is a nice person…but omg. If I wanted a human friend, I would acknowledge Boss Man when he walks in […]

A Poem For My Furst True Love

…whomever she may be. To Her You Purr Is it for me? Are you Her Could it be? A regal cat must pace when his heart awaits The call of the one whom he wants to date Let’s meet in the middle Let’s end this riddle Tonight Shall we dance? -Maximus, 2014 (written on a […]

Cats Need Love, Too

Dear Readers, I am writing to you in earnest today. I have been reflecting on my lives and have noticed a distinct lack of romance in my current existence. Yes, I said it. I need love. While living a life of nobility is nothing short of wonderful, it could be better. After all, what is […]

Party Animals

Hi guys, Max (somewhat) here…admittedly, I’m running at about 20%. My New Year’s festivities have stretched into the week and I am quickly realizing how it feels to be on your fourth or fifth life! Yowza. In response to our catrageous holiday celebrations, I have compiled a short list of why felines should not host/attend […]

(Barely) on the wagon…

Max here. On the proverbial wagon again. Ugh. As I dare say some of you understand, the holidays were not so kind to my waistband. While it was a stellar year in kitty sleuthing, all the hoarding of human food has really affected my physique. It all started with Thanksgiving…and well, you know the rest. […]

New Year’s Resolutions…for my human.

Here’s the thing about resolutions…if you’re perfect, what good do they do? My thoughts exactly. So, in order to join in on the fun, I’ve compiled a list of resolutions for the most imperfect person I know…my human. Or as I sometimes refer to him, “Boss Man.” 1. Stop being a tightwad and buy Max […]

So long 2013…Hello Future.

Hello readers, I hope the holidays have treated you well…and that your pants still fit. That last part may be a bit ambitious, but I have always been known as an optimist (ha). Anywho, as the New Year approaches and reflection becomes an obligatory activity, I wanted to touch base with my loyal fans (that’s […]