Hello Folks,

So I’ve recently been forced to watch an unbelievable amount of mafia historical dramas on The History Channel, A&E, you name it…aka Boss Man has been under the weather and taking full advantage of the ‘ol DVR. Woof.

Anywho, this recent torture has got me thinking…what if I ever end up on the wrong side of one of these guys’ lists? It’s not that hard to imagine…I run a Fortune 500 company and have a penchant for trouble! To protect myself, I’ve come up with a few suggestions should the occasion ever arise. Feel free to share with the authorities if you must.

1. Dye my fur black and change my name to Rattlesnake.
2. Forgo my weekly trip to the kitty spa and instead hire a live-in manicurist.
3. Move to Idaho. No way there’s a mob there.

4. Lie about my poker abilities and take up the church choir instead.

Phew, feels good to get that off of my chest,

Maximus