Psst! Hey guys it’s me…but don’t say my name too loud. I’m currently on the lam for a crime that I may or may not have committed. Apparently, Boss Man is upset that his favorite raspberry cashmere sweater is now a shredded disaster…and has the audacity to think I may be the one to blame.

It’s the claws, people always assume the worst when you have claws (jealousy, no doubt). Also, we had a little disagreement over my “diet plan” last week and he is convinced that his destroyed Brooks Brothers was (just one small part of) my vengeance.

However, there is no proof. Which means…there is no criminal. I don’t watch all those Law and Order reruns for nothing! For now though, I’m just gonna relax a little more under the couch until he calms down. No need to prod the beast. Also, I need to clean my nails.

Covertly yours,
Max