Dear Boss Man,

Please stop moving your office furniture. It’s rude and I do not enjoy having to sit in all the chairs to find my comfortable spot. Also, if you can manage, how about we stop with the strange lady coming in here on Wednesday night vacuuuming? It’s fascinating, yes, but my head is all kinds of mixed up for days afterwards. In addition, if you could really get over my couch clawing life would be easier for us both. I won’t stop. You know that and so do I…so just let it happen, k?

One more thing, if your friend with “allergies” does not stop coming around and complaining, I might lose it. Guess what? I’m allergic to her, too. She’s extremely thin and wears tacky glasses (hellooo 1992).

I think this covers the past few days. I’ll follow-up on the weekend.

Sincerely,
Max