So, the weirdest thing happened this week. There were visitors at UltraPet and they bought a crazy old cat with them. Now don’t get me wrong, I always respect my superiors…and any cat who has lived through 7 or 8 lives deserves a little street cred.

But seriously…nineteen-years old??? That’s cra-cra for sure! Her name is Maggie (get it? Maggie the Cat? Apparently Auntie Evelyn had a thing for Paul Newman back in the day) and she is one nutty feline. First of all, she had the audacity to nap in my secret spot…only minutes after we met! I don’t know about you, but that kind of behavior is frowned upon in mi casa. THEN, she decided to take first dibs at lunch…while I was indisposed in the bathroom! Hello…it was MY bowl! Lastly, she snubbed my scratching post with the snide comment that “toys are for cats without intellect or imagination.”

Um, EXCUSE ME? My scratching post is NOT a toy. It is a tool for seriously physical conditioning, thankyouverymuch.

Whatever, moral of the story is she did not stay in her lane, went beyond rude and clearly past her prime. Also, I don’t play with toys. I don’t like guests; playing well with others is not my forte.

…next time I’ll just turn off the lights and pretend that no one is home.

Get back to me if you have any better ideas.