Max here…a little worse for wear. Brace yourself.

Remember that time I went chipmunk hunting? How brave I sounded? How close I came to snatching the little bugger? Yea, well as they say, almost doesn’t count. In fact, almost can ALMOST get you killed. Need proof? I’ll text you a picture.

Yep, you got that right…I got whooped. By a chipmunk. IN MY DEFENSE, I was minding my own business and admiring the first signs of spring when BAM! Out of nowhere he/she/it came at me. Like a fiery, furious burst of rodent rage. It was terrifying! Next thing you know, I’m covered in scratches and my own Type A. It was a crime scene…and not surprisingly, the cowardly culprit fled immediately.

After the initial shock, I only had the energy to quietly let myself inside and rest. Boss man soon noticed my lack of complaining, demands, and all-around persnickety behavior and came over. Boy did he freak.

What followed was a series of bandages, ointments, and annoying questions. No I could not identify the aggressor. No I do not have any proof. No he/she/it did not give me a name.

…but if you see a miniscule mouseketeer humming a familiar tune, whilst jogging up the Ultra Pet stairs and waving his/her/its fist…do yourself a favor and contact the authorities immediately.

In solidarity,