Dear Savvy Felines,

I have had it up to HERE with feline travel discrimination. I want a proper seat, a cheap fleece blanket, and a bag of salted nuts like the rest of the buffoons on the plane. Frankly, I am far more sophisticated than these Joe-Schmoes and their whiny kids!

I do not want to be stored above or below the cabin. Storage is for old art and furniture…not a CEO and breadwinner like me! If it comes down to it, I may just have to start my own airline à la Richard Branson. It will be called Max Air and only animals will be allowed to ride in first class. Human escorts can hold things up in economy with all their bathroom breaks and fussy minions.

I’ll have my pullout tray of UltraPet litter ready on the go should nature call…because cats know how to perfectly marry convenience and luxury.
Take note if you must,