Do you ever have any issues with humans not recognizing your authority? While my human typically respects my policies and procedures, every now and then he really does not know his place.

For instance, this morning he had the audacity to toss me from my comfy spot on the cashmere-covered bed! Apparently he needed full use of his legs to get to work (downside of not being a CEO), and had to get around me.

How rude!

In my opinion, there should be some sort of authoritative note that employees deliver to employers explaining pet-related tardiness. The most of important of which would be not disrupting their slumber on a rainy day!

First draft is in the works,