Max here. Reporting from the side of normalcy. Recently, it has come to my attention that there are a lot of weirdos out there…like a ton. Honestly, is it that difficult to participate in a normal social exchange…yes? no? maybe?

Scenario:

Sir Max: Dear resident dog, will you please fetch my ‘nip.
Chiweenie: Lick, lick, bark, jump,
Sir Max: I see that you want to play and I do not. The catnip please?
Chiweenie: ~lays down and rolls over ~
Sir Max: Obedience school my foot.

What could I have done differently here? Drawn pictures? Maybe he speaks Yiddish? Impossible!! I know for a fact the little mongrel was born and raised in the American Northeast. If any of you guys know how to make these slobbery creatures LISTEN and not TOUCH, please let me know. I’m desperate…and almost out of hand sanitizer.

Talk soon,
Max