As a staunch defender of feline rights, I want to let you all know that I will soon be hosting a Thanksgiving Preparedness Seminar for all of my domesticated comrades. Year after year, I hear horror stories of my kitten friends going into the season unprepared…and it never fails to break my heart!
So this year, in an effort to uphold my role as Exemplary Cat Leader, I will offer a how-to guide to any cat that will listen. Please see a rundown below of the topics we will cover:
1) What to do, and where to stand, when the human is cooking.
2) Where to hide when the toddlers arrive.
3) Where to sit when the toddlers are eating.
4) Where to sleep when the humans aren’t watching.
5) How to silently jump on a table without notice.
6) How to pace yourself as to not miss out on any course.
7) How to stash food once walking becomes uncomfortable.
8) How to escape the noise once full.
9) How to avoid injury during an angry or happy football dance.
10) How to exert dominion over any other pets that arrive to dinner.
Thoughts? Suggestions? The date is TBD, but I will certainly let you know ASAP.