I have a feather to fluff. Why do you humans feel the INCESSANT NEED to use inexcusably loud tools on Saturday mornings?! Not only are these items almost always VERY SCARY…they also disrupt a feline’s much-needed beauty rest.

Case in point:

This morning, after a late night of cartoon reruns and fancy feast, I found myself awakened by the monotonous and mind-numbing NRRRRRMMMMMMMMM of the mower outside. OMG! I almost flipped. After three hours of sleep, I could not care less about the state of our grounds. Furthermore, this forsaken lacking of palm trees and sandy beaches place has more to worry about than a few overgrown leave. Have you seen the tasteless car wash they’re building on the corner?! But I digress…the point is that I, Max The Ultra Cat needs his sleep. Otherwise, the claws will come out and the blinds come down.

If you are a human and happen to be reading this…take my advice. Hold off on your mowing, weed eating, VACUUMING, and drilling until at least 2pm on weekends.

With love,