Let’s talk about humans for a second. Each of us has one or more…whether we like it or not. In my case, the situation is admittedly tolerable…but far from perfect. For instance, just last night I went up to one of mine on my own accord. I had decided to be friendly and personable for a change. I did the signature cat-move for “pay me attention” and he had the audacity to yell and toss me off of his lap! WHAT THE…WHAT!!! All I did was gently press his legs with my paws. You would think a grown man could handle itty bitty, little kitty claws…or at least would catch on and give me the requested back rub. My goodness! No good deed goes unpunished, indeed.

For now, there is a cold war in the Presidential Palace. I ignore him and he pretends to not know I’m upset. I don’t even rush to the kitchen when he pours out my food anymore either (I mean, it’s stupid diet food anyway). I, Max, am a feline that likes to be appreciated. My royal Egyptian bloodline does not sit well when chastised. His actions cannot go unnoticed.

Indignantly yours,