Oh the horrors of KARMA. If I make it this I promise to think carefully about my plans to terminate the Chiweenie.

I ask that you please read this post carefully, as it may be my last. The worst thing that can befall a cat has happened to me…I have a toothache. A mind-numbing, life-altering toothache. As you people know, meals are primarily the reason for my existence. I love them. It is who I am. Sadly, this health hazard has transformed my greatest pleasure into my greatest pain. I see the food, I want the food, I can’t eat the food. I feel like I am a prisoner on Lock Up: Miami Dade County; torture, pure and simple.

If I’m honest, I think I have a few days left. I’m going crazy. Looking on the bright side, at least the humans started giving me Starkist for meals. Albacore, I think? That’s a plus. They also have me on some trippy meds…I don’t mind those either.

In my despair, I’ve started watching “Too Cute” on the Animal Planet. Please don’t tell anyone, I know it’s a little juvenile. A cat in my position needs all the joy he can find…cheesy reality shows included.

Well, guys…time for me to go. I hear the can opener.