This is a personal note to my furry and followers….all humans may stop reading NOW

You know how sometimes you just get in that mood? That mood where every.single.thing your human does/says/thinks drives you insane? When he or she falls below your already lowered expectations for human behavior?

Yea, me too. For real though, must one really chew cereal that loudly? Or, ya know, take 45 minutes in the shower while your litter box is trapped inside the bathroom? It’s called common courtesy, people.

I have developed several ways to retaliate. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, feel free to copy my moves below.

1. Kick kitty litter all over the bathroom floor. This grosses all humans out…and the grimace on their face is PRICELESS.

2. Wake them up at 6 am with the tried-and-true cat massage. Make sure your claws are exposed.

3. Go fishing…in the living room tank. While this measure is a little extreme, it can be used when things get really bad. They’ll never forget to feed you again.

And there’s more where that came from…but who would I be if I exposed all of my secrets?!

Stay tough,
Max