To whom it may concern:

I am very excited about the new season that is upon us. It may come as surprise, but this cosmopolitan Ultra Cat quite enjoys the great outdoors. In particular, mountain trips to experience the true grandeur of the changing leaves. Is there anything more majestic???

(Yes, actually. A double serving of tuna tartare at the Hotel Cipriani in Venice. But I

Anyhow, with all of this said, I am in need of a chauffeur and manservant to take me on such a trip. I’ve already received permission to borrow Keith and Nicole’s cabin in Tennessee (he’s on tour and she’s on set)…so let’s go already!!

Any takers?